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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Male -- Erections > Can't achieve an erection all the time
Submitted on 06/06/04 at 01:13:28
Anxiety regarding sexual intimacy and intercourse is a COMMON problem. Difficulty achieving an erection is a COMMON problem. If you think that anxiety about having an erection and successfully completing intercourse is your problem I would suggest the following.
1. Think about why you are anxious. Often by identifying the things that make us uncomfortable or anxious allow us to manage them.
2. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER! Often, just admitting concern and anxiety will allow you to be comfortable with her and not worry about erection. If YOU are anxious SHE may be as well. She may think the problem is her and she may be feeling bad about it. Talking is a good thing.
3. Talk about the relationship and expectations. Is this a casual relationship or is it a serious relationship?
4. Concentrate on non-intercourse intimacy. By not expecting to jump into intercourse and allowing intimacy to develop over time often the anxiety will resolve. In a sense you become more comfortable with the situation and the person and less concerned about "performance".
5. DON'T TRY DRUGS OR ALCOHOL TO RELAX YOU! Trying to "relax" with a pint or use drugs is not a solution and often creates another set of problems with sex.
With that said, the things that can influence erection are uncertainty about the relationship; different expectations for what the sexual intimacy might mean; environment (not private enough, not quiet enough, not warm enough etc.); smoking; alcohol; drugs; depression; and, of course, anxiety.
Obviously, if this problem doesn't resolve it would be appropriate to seek out the advice of your family doctor and let them take a careful history and perform an exam.
Steve Johnson , PA-C