Teen FAQ
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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Sexuality & Romance > Thinking about physical contact makes me uncomfortable
Question
Submitted on 06/23/04 at 02:39:20
Answer
Your question is a good one, and you seem very aware of how a thought can make you more anxious than the real event, anticipatory anxiety it is called. For some reason, picturing or thinking about future physical contact gave you anxiety. It could have to do with your feeling you are not ready to do as much contact as you fear might be expected by someone else, or fearing that it may not be under your control as to type of contact or pace, etc. It may also be queasiness with the unknown, which to some degree we all have. Anyway, it would be good to talk with others about it, ask adults you trust and who know you well to listen to you talk about it, and tell them to give you room to explore it without jumping to conclusions too early.
Ask friends if they have experienced it. If there has been any inappropriate sexual or sexualized experiences in one's past it can have effects similar. Counseling can help with resolving difficult issues if they underlie the anxiety; it can also help develop ways to manage social interactions, nervousness or anxiety. And most of all, don't go ahead with any contacts/behaviors you are uncomfortable with ever; a friend/boyfriend worth keeping is one who will support things moving at a pace that agrees with you. Good luck!