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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Talking to Parents > Problems with mom
Posted on: 08/20/2004
Question
My mother has a problem with drawing medical attention to herself around neighbors and family friends. It is hugely embarrassing, not only because she always does this, but because she wants people to feel sympathy toward her because of her medical problems. She is constantly chastising my sister, my father, and I for nothing, and is having an extremely difficult time functioning happily because of a hard day life, and her and my father's rough marriage. She won't admit that our family has abusive problems, and won't accept that I was suicidal a year ago. What can I do to make her realize that she needs help or some kind of counseling?
Answer
Your feelings of frustration are something to pay attention to; they are very real and have obviously been there a long time. It sounds like you have been very unhappy in the past, as well, and your parents too. If you haven't already, it is probably time to share with your parents very directly and as neutrally as you can, that you are unhappy. Stating that you are unhappy and in pain, that you want professional help, is what they need to know. And it will catch their attention more than blaming or criticizing your mother for irritating behavior will; or more than blaming their arguments or marital problems. Just tell them you are unhappy and want help for yourself, if not for all. Then continue those steps in seeking help; you can ask friends, other family, church contacts, school counselor, or call mental health clinics including ours. Usually working parents have benefits through their work place, it's called and Employee Assistance Program, and offers a few appointments to assess the situation and help, even make referrals; and parents' insurance often covers much of the cost if longer-term counseling is needed. Good luck, you can be part of the positive change beginning.