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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Emotional Issues > Son with low self-esteem
Posted on: 09/16/2004
Question
We have a 16 year old son with low self esteem. He has always been attracted to girls, but they have no interest in him. His behavior is arrogant etc. I know learn that he is touting the gay lifestyle and bisexuality benefits. He went away to camp for a month and told one of his friends the best part of it was being in a tent sleeping between two guys. He now has two gay friends and I have overheard some very inappropriate conversations relating to oral sex. I confronted his father that he needed to talk to his son before he embarked on a dangerous lifestyle. His father said I am making too much of it. I feel if we don't discuss this with him it will create more problems in his future. Please help with your advice.
Answer
Dear Parent: It sounds like your son is sending out lots of messages that he is trying to determine his sexual orientation. This can be a very confusing issue for teenagers as they rapidly develop physically and are quite vulnerable to being rejected. It may be that your son is identifying that his sexual preference is for the same sex and it would be very wise for him to talk with a trained counselor if he is willing. Understandably parents often have strong beliefs and reactions to talking openly about their teen's sexuality and it may be easier for him to talk with someone outside the family who could also meet with you as parents. Your family doctor may be a good one to talk with him about a safe lifestyle and also suggest someone he could see for counseling. If there are no counselors in your area, you or he could contact, PFLAG (202-467-8180), a national organization that supports families dealing with same sex preference issues.