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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Talking to Parents > Building relationship with parents
Posted on: 09/26/2004
Question
How do you form a good relationship with your parents?
Answer
You've asked a great question, and one your parents may also be asking themselves--its not easy to connect across a generation with different interests and expectations. But like any human bond, asking questions and opening discussion is a good beginning to staying connected. Parents want information, they often feel in the dark and disappointed, frustrated at being in the dark, and often guilty for not having a better relationship with their teen. Sometimes putting your own upset or disappointment or anger aside, finding a moment when nothing else is going on (like, definitely not in the midst of an argument) and opening with "you know, mom/dad, the strangest thing happened today..." or "hey, have you ever thought about..." or "I've been wondering..." even "you know what I really hate is...(something impersonal to your parent)" Somehow parents feel included in your life with those; or asking to go for a walk or ice-cream sometime. If an angry or impatient response comes back, sometimes old resentments linger, so just try again another time. Find common ground, neutral topics, and keep talking, give and ask for information--parents seem to be info junkies, they feel connected to you when they have more of a picture of what your day was like, what you think about and wish for and wonder about. Good luck!