Teen FAQ
For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.
Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
Navigate: FAQ Home Page > First Time Sex/Virginity > FAQS about First Time Sex
Question
- Does it feel good to have sex?
- Is it true that I will bleed the first time?
- Why is first time sex painful?
Answer
Sex feels very good when you are physically grown-up and have a strong, loving, and long-term relationship with someone that you trust and want to be intimate with. Sex also feels better when you can relax and not worry about getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease. In order to not worry about these things, it is important to plan your first sexual experience with your partner. Talking about whether you are really ready to be sexual. Planning how you will get an exam, birth control and condoms to protect yourself. Most girls wish they had waited until they were older -- we encourage you to wait.
Read our article: Am I ready?
Not all women bleed the first time they have vaginal sex. The bleeding can come from the hymen being broken, but some women do not bleed at all.
It is not uncommon to hear that "first-time sex" is uncomfortable or even painful for some. (But it doesn't need to be).
There might be pain because there is not enough lubrication which can cause painful friction. Lubrication usually occurs naturally as a woman becomes increasingly aroused but if she's not fully relaxed, she may not be able to produce enough lubrication. You can purchase special lubricants designed for just this purpose at your local drugstore. (Water-based lubricants like "Astroglide" or "KY Jelly", etc. are considered to be better than oil-based lubricants like baby oil, which will destroy latex condoms). You can put a few extra drops of lubricant on the outside of a condom to reduce friction.
Another reason for pain may be that you or your partner are not ready or completely comfortable with the decision to have sex. Nervous tension, feeling pressured to have sex or fears can definitely affect the sexual experience - how it feels physically as well as to one's conscience or "self". Mental and emotional readiness to begin a sexual relationship will vary from person to person, as one's cultural, family and moral or religious beliefs are brought into the decision-making process. If you haven't already, it's a good idea for you two to discuss whether each of you are truly ready to take on the responsibility and potential consequences of a sexual relationship.
Additional Information: Sex
Teen Advisory Board