Teen FAQ
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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Sexuality, General > FAQ about sexual pain/pleasure
Question
During sex it always hurts. I usually start feeling irritated in the vaginal area for a day or two and it just doesn't feel good in general.
Ever since the first time sex has been really uncomfortable for me when he goes really deep. Could there be something wrong with me?
My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about a year now and it seems the more we do it, the more he wants it for himself. I don't get much pleasure out of it. What should I do to let him know I need to be pleasured too?
Answer
- 1. Maybe sex is not right for you now and you should reconsider your decision to be sexually active.
- 2. Maybe you are worried about pregnancy or infections. There are many things to worry about when you are sexually active, such as using a reliable method of birth control and condoms so that you do not contract a sexually transmitted infection. Also, once a woman becomes sexually active it is important that she have annual pap tests to test for cancer.
- 3. If you are having sex and have not seen a doctor, make an appointment for an exam and it will give you the opportunity to discuss any concerns you may have, as well as birth control.
- 4. If you are having sex, using birth control and condoms for protection against STI's, try some extra lubrication (such as K-Y Jelly or Astro Glide) to avoid the friction that can irritate your vaginal area. You can also try using polyurethane condoms (in case you are allergic to latex).
- 5. In addition to lubrication, you can try a position in which you (the woman) controls the speed and depth of penetration.
If you are not enjoying sex as much as your partner is, you should make time to talk about this. A time that is not right before or after sex, but a time when both of you are relaxed and comfortable. You need to bring up this issue and explain how you feel and how it fits in to your relationship. Communication is an extremely important part of a relationship. If you cannot talk with your partner, find a counselor you can talk to.
Teen Advisory Board of PAMF