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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Depression > Dealing with grief
Posted on: 03/02/2005
Question
My best friend's little sister just died from leukemia. Her life support machine was turned off yesterday. I loved her as if she was my little sister. I'm trying to be strong for her and so I can support my best friend and her family. I used to suffer from depression (self diagnosed, but who else constantly thinks about killing themselves and how to hurt themselves next). I sometimes still think like that, but I'm not going to kill myself and I'm never going to tell anyone. I worried that my best friend is going to turn in that direct. I don't want her to suffer like I have. I want to protect her from that world. I want to help, but just don't know what to do or how I should act around her. Do you have any suggestions?
Answer
It is a sad time for your friend and her family as well as yourself. Take care of yourself and continue being a good friend to your friend, without undue worry that she will experience the depression you did. After all, she's an entirely different person with a different family and history. Her folks may very well hook up with grief counseling for all of them. Often, hospitals tending to terminally ill children like her little sister encourage and facilitate this. You too, with your family, might seek some counseling and support. You say you don't ever want to share with anyone how depressed you were, but after all, those feelings visit most of us in some form or other, for some amount of time. It is not abnormal, nor would your sharing hurt your parents when they realize you've given them the gift of inclusion in your life. Do nurturing things for yourself and continue being there for your friend while also laughing with her, and others.