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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Relationships > Confused fiance
Generally its does make sense to wait a bit to get married. When you know more about what you want and what is important to you in life. When you have the training and education to support yourselves, you have a better chance of knowing how to work things out and coping with the challenges life gives you.
However, in your case you have already made some very big life decisions and have a RESPONSIBILITY to provide a healthy family life and home to your children. Whenever possible children are better off with two parents, their own parents, loving them, educating then and providing for them. If you and your children's father can truly accept the responsibility for the children you have created then I think you should marry and ask your families to celebrate this event with you as their support, guidance and love is very important for both of you and your children. Perhaps part of your marriage vows should be to be patient and respectful of each other so that you do not fight, use alcohol or drugs -- because starting out with 4 kids can be very difficult, as I'm sure you know!
Gina Earle , LCSW