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Parents disapprove of me dating
Posted on: 05/25/2005
Question
My parents disapprove of me dating anyone before the age of 16. I'm 14 and I'm dating someone behind their back. I sort of feel guilty for it, but not enough to break up with him. I love him so much and I don't know what to do. Are my parents being overprotective or am I doing wrong?
Answer
Parents often have very different ideas about when young people are old enough to date. Usually they are concerned that adolescents are mature enough to make safe decisions. In your case you are taking the risk that if you parents find out you are dating behind their back you might get grounded or other restrictions that would not allow you to see your boyfriend at all. I wonder if your parents would be open to you introducing him to them and having him visit you at home or go out with him in group situations. It might be helpful if you could get in a discussion with your parents about what their concerns are and see if you can come to a compromise.
An addition from Nancy Brown, PhD:
You do not mention the age of the boy you are dating, and I would like to add that if he is over 14 then your parents have some grounds for concern. In addition, doing this without their knowledge means they do not know where you are sometimes, which puts you at risk - honesty is the best policy, and I, too hope you can be honest with your parents.
