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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Relationships > Jealousy
Posted on: 07/26/2005
Question
I've been seeing this guy off and on for two years, but in between the off and on he was seeing another girl. Well about four months ago he committed himself to me and told her he didn't want anything to do with her, but she is still a friend of his sister and is always at his mom's house. He does not live there but when he does go there I never want him to go without me. I have a problem with him being around her when I'm not around. I'm always scared she will try and do something with him to get him to leave me. What do I do? Is what I'm feeling normal?
Answer
Jealousy is a difficult emotion. I have a tough response for you. When you really think about it all you CAN do is take care of your half of the relationship. If you are loving, kind, honest, humorous and fun you will be doing all you possible can to keep him with you. If you try to control him, spy on him or order him around you will probably bring some resentment and bitterness into the relationship and increase the risk of it not working out. That doesn't mean that you can't talk about what your commitment is to each other. You can commit to no sex with anyone else or no making out or even no flirting. If you have a mutual commitment and one of you doesn't keep it then you have a problem of trust. It is hard to care about someone you don't completely trust and often times that means that someone isn't ready for a committed relationship.