Main content

    Teen FAQ

    For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.

    Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).


    Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Sexual Pleasure/Pain > Sex is too painful
    Posted on: 08/25/2005

    Question

    I am 27 and my wife is 22. She was a virgin until the day after wedding (July 31). I entered her briefly, just long enough to break her hymen. We have not been able to have intercourse since. She is very tight. Every time we try to make love she screams, cries and becomes violent. I then become frustrated while trying to calm her down. We have tried almost everything I can think of from a glass of wine and anal ease (benzocaine) to try to ease the pain of vaginal sex. She is a petite woman and I'm a larger man. Do you have any ideas for us to be able to have sex?

    Answer

    First of all you need to STOP trying to put your penis inside her. Once someone has had a lot of pain it is very difficult for them to get interested in intercourse until they have some happy memories to block out the pain. So go back to "petting", kissing and massages. PROMISE her you won't try to put your penis in her. And keep your word.

    Then make an appointment to see her doctor and have her checked out to make sure she is fine. There are some problems women can have that can make sex uncomfortable.

    AFTER she has been checked out ask the doctor the best way to try penetration. He will probably suggest that she is on top of you. There are pictures in The Joy of Sex if she is unfamiliar with what you are suggesting.

    But really STOP now for several weeks. Just enjoy each other in other ways.


    Answered By:
    Barbara Boyer , D.O.


    Back to previous
    Back to FAQ Home Page