Teen FAQ
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Question
Lastly, there is a guy I have liked for around a year now and he is a senior. I feel like this is my last chance to talk to him, since last year I had no classes with him. However, this year he sits about 1 foot away from me in science class. It's like I've been handed the chance to talk to him. The problem is, apart from me being shy, he is also. He is just as shy as me, I've barely heard him utter a word at all yet. It's driving me crazy that he sits there. Can you please help me find ways of communicating more easily? It's tearing me up inside so bad, that the other day a girl asked me to pass a paper wad up to the front of the class so someone could throw it away. When I handed it to him I felt like I might collapse out of my chair.
Answer
You would probably be surprised how many people suffer from shyness. This especially true when they are adolescents and haven't yet developed a lot of social skills. Please know that you are not alone and that even people you think are very outgoing sometimes suffer from shyness. Try joining some new activities that you really like to do and sign up to help with something. This is one of the best ways to meet people while you are naturally having to converse over an activity. Pick out one person, maybe someone who seems more mature and find a question to ask. Often you just need to listen, not talk very much, to make contact with others as people love good listeners.
In the case of the senior you would like to know, try to find a question to ask him about the class or comment on something you see him wearing like a special shirt. You can indicate you would like to know someone just by smiling and making eye contact. Perhaps he will feel more comfortable to speak to you. Shy people tend to be overly self conscious, but you need to realize that other people don't notice your discomfort as much as you do. Practice making contact with some older people that make you feel comfortable and get used to the idea of practicing conversation. A book with some good information on social anxiety is "Shyness: What it is and What to do About It" by Philip Zimbardo.