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Navigate: > > Son skipping gym

Posted on: 11/03/2005

Question

I know this is for kids, but hopefully you can help me, and them as well. My 13 year-old-son is doing everything he can to avoid gym class this year. He is getting an F at this point. He's lost his gym clothes twice, he fakes illness, etc.

Answer

There may be reasons behind his avoidance that are hard for him to share. I don't have enough information to really guess and don't know if he attended middle school PE, but at his age boys are often tremendously self-conscious about their bodies. On top of that, they arrive at middle school and are asked to change in the locker room for PE.

Some feel they are too short compared to peers, some too lightweight or skinny, some too heavy, or too sunken-chest, or too fleshy about the chest and are afraid they'll be made fun of. And they're too self-conscious to state this as the reason for wanting to skip out.

He may feel treated differently or badly by a peer, or even by a teacher. But we really don't know, and it may be something else entirely. To support him and best get at what's going on, you might just find a quiet moment (weekend perhaps) and have whomever in your family he's most apt to share with (father, older brother or you) approach him.

Go for a walk or activity with him, and let the topic come up with no intense questioning, just the chance to hear how he feels about PE and the whole PE experience (it's WAY more than just a class for these boys). If nothing materializes, you can scout it out with his counselor and teacher. And good luck!

Answered By:
Susan McKenzie , LCSW

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