Main content

Teen FAQ

For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.

Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).

Navigate: > > Shyness

Posted on: 12/15/2005

Question

How do I get over my shyness?

Answer

As a shy person, you are probably not going to suddenly become the life of the party, but there are several things you can so to take small steps toward being more comfortable. Shyness is usually worrying about what others will think of you. Shy people often worry about how they look or if they will say something stupid or even not be able to say anything at all. To counter this you can recognize that how you look and what you say is probably pretty much like any other teen and work on relaxing your concerns (at least a little).

Second, try to focus on other people because if you are focusing on their story you don't have to think about yourself. Having a few conversation starter questions can help. For example: What kind of music do you like? Have you tried any new video games lately?

A third point is to remember that it doesn't really matter how you answer most of the time. If some one asks you what music you like and hip hop comes to mind even though you mostly like rock go ahead and say hip hop. We all can change from day to day. Try setting small goals for yourself: I will say hello to three people today. I will raise my hand in one class. I will ask another shy person if I can sit with them at lunch. Nothing helps you get over a problem better than small constant successes.

If you feel that even this is more than you can handle, ask your parent, doctor or school counselor to refer you to a therapist who could meet with you and help you figure this out.

Answered By:
Gina Earle , LCSW

Back to previous
Back to FAQ Home Page