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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Sexual Pleasure/Pain > Not enjoying sex
Posted on: 03/20/2006
Question
I'm gay and my lesbian partner is very into sex. Ever since we've started it's been nothing but fingers and I've been faking orgasms because I don't want her to think I don't enjoy her. I've never had sexual intercourse, but the problem is she doesn't know that. I am aroused by her but I don't know how to make it so where I don't have to fake it. Do you have to lose your "virginity" in order to "feel" sex in the vagina? I even tried a brush handle once to get rid of it but I don't think it worked. I feel so stupid. What can I do?
Answer
Well first, please do not feel stupid -- sexuality is a very complex part of our lives. Second, stop faking -- it undermines your self-esteem and the quality of the relationship.
Start by telling her the truth and then communicate during sex. Go slow and learn what you do enjoy and to appreciate your body. Women actually do not feel most stimulation in their vagina and it has nothing to do with being a virgin.