Teen FAQ
For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.
Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Rape/Sexual Assult > Abusive brother
Posted on: 04/06/2006
Question
My brother sexually abused me (anal, vaginal, and oral sex -- he did me, as well as got me to do him) for a summer when I was about 10 years old. I am okay now and have dealt with a lot of it. He hurt my twin sister too. He was 17 or 18 when he did it. It was never reported, and our mother found out but did not believe us. I am concerned about him hurting someone else. He just got married, and his wife is pregnant. He plays with my niece that is 4 and I am scared to death that he will hurt her. He gets violent when he drinks. He doesn't act like he is going to, but then again no one knew he was hurting me either. So I don't know what to do. And I am all for women's rights and justice, and it kills me that I was dumb enough not to tell someone before now. What is the likelihood that he will abuse again? Should I tell his wife or my sister who has the kids or the cops or something? I can't stop thinking about it.
Answer
You are very right to be concerned about your brother being sexually abusive with someone else as we know that people who have this history are very likely to do it again. You should definitely warn your sister whose children he plays with and report it to Child Protective Services in your city. You can find the number in the phone book or call information. Very often, we find parents do not believe it when they hear what is happening because it is too threatening to them. Your brother, however, has a serious problem that needs treatment and especially if he is drinking and violent.
I also strongly recommend that you seek counseling for yourself to work on the emotional issues around this history of abuse. As in your case, most children do not report this type of abuse because they are afraid no one will believe them, but it is not too late to deal with the truth.