Main content

    Teen FAQ

    For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.

    Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).


    Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Emotional Issues > Trouble with parents
    Posted on: 04/06/2006

    Question

    I'm 14 and am having trouble with my parents and this guy I know.

    My mom moved out about a year ago and I didn't show any kind of problem then, but now I am having a lot of trouble focusing in school, emotional issues (angry around people, cry when I'm alone), cutting, and extremely suicidal (attempting suicide three times).

    Every time I cut, it gets a little worse and my parents found out about it a few months ago and took all my sharp objects (knives, pliers, scissors, exacto's, etc.).

    My mom moved in with this guy who's a little older than her, but she met him at a local bar/restaurant where we know everyone.

    I have a few questions:

    1) The guy my mom lives with has a son who is in my school and is two years older than me. I had a major crush on him ever since I met him and still do, except I know I'm only 14 but I think I've fallen in love with him and I don't know if I have or if I should tell him.

    We've been through a lot and I've had sex with him twice, but he never knew I liked him. I don't know if I should tell him because he's been talking to me and helping me with a lot that was on my mind. And I can't think of any other reason he'd have sex with me other than him liking me back, but he stopped talking to me and has started saying I lied to him and he won't even say hi.

    Do I love him?

    Should I tell him?

    2.) I got caught smoking a few months ago and have been under house arrest since. It's been five months and they aren't going to let me out any time soon, I know it. They let me go to the library for about a week in January (2 months ago). Then the school called home about my cutting because one of my friends was worried and told the counselor not knowing what to do and they took everything away again!

    I still smoke and don't plan on quitting anytime soon. I know it's detrimental to my health and all. I know it's illegal for the next five years, but it is my way of coping for now. I can?t tell you the WHOLE story in this little question, but how can I get myself out more? How do I get my parents to give up on the smoking and let me out?


    Answer

    It sounds like you have more than just trouble with parents going on, and that you also know that. You mentioned just in passing three suicide attempts; and you say that you are aware that the cutting is getting a little worse each time. With self-destructive behavior and out-of-control feelings, now is the time to get help. A parent(s) keeping you at home must also want help too. It's time to get counseling. Propose it to your mom (though you say you're living with your parents). If your folks are employed, their work benefits would likely have some counseling covered. Let your school counselor know that you want help. There are sliding-scale clinics available and adolescent services in most communities, no doubt in yours or nearby. Ask around and start now. Good luck!


    Answered By:
    Susan McKenzie , LCSW


    Back to previous
    Back to FAQ Home Page