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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Relationships > Freshman and ex-boyfriend
Posted on: 04/20/2006
Question
I repeated my freshman year of high school, so I'm a freshman again. I go to a private school 30 minutes away from where I live and there aren't many guys there. In the beginning of the year, I met this senior guy and we became best friends. Towards November we started liking each other and we've been "together" since the beginning of March. We never were "boyfriend or girlfriend" but I was "off limits" to any of the other guys even though he was hooking up with other girls on the side. I got sick of it after awhile because he always lied to me about it and said he wasn't with any other girls. I met this other guy who goes to a public school in the same city as my school. We hang out all the time, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. We've been together for two weeks and I really like him, but I still have feelings for the guy I was with before. I never officially broke it off, there's nothing physical going on with me and him but there is a lot of emotions still there. He says he misses me now, and he wants me to get back with him, but since he's with another girl now he wants me to wait until summer. I don't really want to do that and hurt my boyfriend I'm with now, it doesn't seem like a very smart idea -- but I don't want to hurt my "ex" because there were a lot of feelings there.
Answer
You will find that one of the hardest things in life is to figure out what you REALLY want and then to have the courage to ask for it! So, what do you really want? The new guy or the previous guy? I you think a guy should be just as faithful to you as you are to him. (That's what I think.) YOU have to tell him. If he promises one thing and does something else, well, actions speak louder than words. And you have to be really clear. You might say, "I have a guy friend and I hang out with him and might give him a hug but I will not hold hands, kiss or anything and I would like you to do the same." If he doesn't live up to your agreement, can you trust him? He may be cute and funny, but isn't trust pretty important in a boyfriend. Respect yourself enough to figure out what you really want and then go for it!