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Navigate: > > Cry after sex

Posted on: 05/04/2006

Question

After having sex, I often cry. My partner asks me why, but I don't know why. I always cry, but I am not sad. I don't hurt. It just happens. There was only one time that I didn't cry. That was with a boy who moved far away. I miss him. I've cried after having sex with everyone before him and everyone after him. I don't know what to do.

Answer

Your question is of the sort that people work on in therapy. Since this isn't therapy the best I can do is give you some possible explanations for you to think about.

1. It may be that you have strong feelings about some other event in your life or just your life in general, and you keep those feelings out of mind except in that post-sex vulnerable time.

2. It may be that you have a sense of the kind of closeness you would like to feel and when that doesn't happen you feel the let down and thus tears.

3. For some people that is just how they react to any intense experience, they are people who cry when listening to beautiful music.

In any case if it is tears of joy, of the intense response, then that is just what it is. However, if there is sadness or despair you might want to assess what you are doing. Is this the right person, the right time or the right way for you to have sex? If there is doubt, you should decide and act on what is right for you. Sex is a special aspect of life.

Answered By:
Gina Earle , LCSW

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