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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Rape/Sexual Assult > Q&A
Posted on: 09/18/2006
Question
Sex hurts during initial insertion. I have noticed that I brace right before, and I think I am clenching, because when I make myself breathe and relax, it doesn't hurt as bad. I also close my eyes really tight and hope it's over soon, even though I love my boyfriend. I have been sexually abused in the past, and was wondering if that could have something to do with it. I am not afraid of my boyfriend, so it has nothing to do with our relationship. The sexual abuse is all I can think of, even though it happened so long ago (I was 5). Maybe I'm afraid of sex? I know that I have felt there was something wrong with my body for a very long time, so could it be that, too? I'm confused and want sex to stop hurting so my boyfriend doesn't have to be worried anymore!
Answer
I am truly sorry that someone sexually abused you when you were little - that should NOT happen to anyone! Yes, I think you have diagnosed your own issue and the only way to really move through this is to spend some time talking it out with a counselor - preferrably someone with experience helping women who have been sexually abused. Go easy on yourself, but get help - for you and your boyfriend - he sounds like a nice guy - and good luck!