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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Family Issues > Found daughter's whiskey
Posted on: 11/17/2006
Question
I found a calistoga water bottle in my daugheter's room -- that contained what I beileve is whiskey, diluted with water. She is 17. I don't know how to handle it?
Answer
This is always uncomfortable for parents, and for teens, but it's part of the territory of parenting. Don't be apologetic, don't be accusatory, but do be open with your question "what's this?" and let her answer, with whatever time is needed and space to react, just keep with the moment(s) and allow her to have a chance. All this partly depends on dialogue and history your family has shared on the topic, perceptions, previous incidents if any, levels of trust established, etc. But welcome this also as a chance to open the dialogue again; work as a team with your partner if you are co-parenting, don't feel you need to get ahead of everyone to know where it's going or to have the right approach; stay with the confusion if there is some and work as a team to begin working through it. Also get help if you feel the need of it once the topic has been opened. Talk with other parents, school counselors, parenting resources, family counseling (see this Web site for resources as well); but also demonstrate you have faith in your family being able to handle this as you have handled other concerns. And take care of yourself throughout, because anxiety or anger don't take care of anybody well. Good luck!