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Posted on:01/03/2007
Question
Hi I recently ended a relationship that was about two and a half years old. It?s been about 3-4 hours so far and it hurts so bad. We've broken up a couple times before and I just came running back, I want to call her so bad but if I do that it will just be continuing something that shouldn't be anymore. How do I get over this?
Answer
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The time immediately after breaking up can be particularly hard, because the decision is too new to feel settled. You have an advantage in knowing that getting back together just prolongs the problem, but that doesn't protect you from feeling a big loss. Getting over it may involve figuring out what thoughts make the break-up particularly painful. Sometimes people believe that they will never love anyone else, that no one else will want them, or that they just won't be able to stand being alone. Once you know what your thoughts are, you can begin to evaluate them and decide how realistic they are. If you continue to be in a lot of pain over the course of several weeks, talking to a counselor can speed up the process of healing and moving on.
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Answered By:
Judith Wilson
, Ph.D.
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