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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Emotional Issues > Lying on the Internet
Posted on: 03/01/2007
Question
Hello, I have serious problems in my life. I am about 280 lbs. right now, high school drop out and I am obsessed with the computer. I never get off the computer, I form relationships with people and I completely lie to them about everything. Right now I believe I am in love with a girl over the internet, she is about 4 years older then me. I have told her all lies about my age and where I live and she even wants to see me real soon. I even agreed to that. I don't know how I can tell the people in my internet life I am not who I say I am.
Answer
There are times in everyone's life when what we have to face is simply more than we can handle. We have ways to protect ourselves, like procrastination, denial, pretending and others that may be helpful in the short run but can lead to a big mess in the long run. It sound like this is what happened to you. I imagine it started small with insignificant exaggerations that helped you feel more confident in the short run but pretty soon grew to something totally unmanageable. The fact that you NOW see that this isn't working is a HUGE first step! Getting your real life back will take lots more steps and change can seem painfully slow. You could start with calling a friend who you think will not negatively judge you and planning to hangout together. When you are about to eat you need to be able to think about the quantity and quality of food you are about to consume and you need to find a way to be a bit more active each week. There is no magic pill that makes this all happen at once. It take time and steady effort without being too hard on yourself for setbacks. As a therapist I try to support and coach people with this kind of problem on a regular basis so you might want to see if your parents, school or doctor might help you find someone to help you. In any case remember to stop and give yourself a pat on the back for every honest healthy step you take. This will start the process of being more confident and realistic little by little. Good Luck!