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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > School > Mom who grounded son
Posted on: 04/26/2007
Question
I grounded my son today for an F in class, I took away cell & computer. He reacted by telling me he hated me and hoped I would die, threw a pop on my car, food all over the computer, continually says he is not going back to school & he doesn't care about anything or anyone? I took him to a doc last year he suggested karate- didn't work- I don't know what to do- he's disrespectful & defiant.
Answer
In thinking about your son, I would first want to know about his overall wellbeing: if he has activities he enjoys; if he has stable friendships; whether he is dating, and if so, has he been able to manage romantic relationships; were the outbursts you describe atypical, or is he generally moody; and whether there has been any family disruption that might have affected him. School failure often reflects turmoil in a teenager's life outside of school. The intensity of your son's anger and his expression of alienation warrant attention. If you have reason to believe that your son is not just angry with you but is unhappy with his life in general, it would be important to find some adult outside the family--school counselor, pastor, psychotherapist etc--with whom he can talk. On the other hand, your son may be struggling academically, in which case it would be important to talk to his teacher and arrange for extra help. Punishment is not likely to improve his grades in either case, since it does not address the underlying issues.