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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Sexuality, General > Daughter has had sex
Posted on: 04/26/2007
Question
Last week i walked into my 12 year olds bedroom to find her having sex, she didnt know i was there so i never disturbed her and left her to it! Now i feel guilty because she might not have had protection and shes been upset this week since the sexual intercourse!!!!
Answer
Many parents feel unprepared for their children becoming sexually active, particularly when the children are not yet adolescent. However, parents can play an important role in clarifying their values about sexual relationships and ensuring that children have adequate information. Parental guidance is especially critical with children as young as your daughter, who are seldom emotionally ready for sexual intercourse. Before talking with your daughter, you will need to sort through your own thoughts and decide what you want to say. Whatever feelings you have, you need to approach her without anger or moral judgment so that she can hear what you have to say. In addition to talking with her, you should schedule an appointment with her doctor, who may test for STD's and offer contraceptive information. It is likely that some part of the conversation will include only the doctor and your daughter, since minors are entitled to privacy around reproductive issues in many states