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Posted on: 06/28/2007
I need alot of reassurance from my boyfriend because I'm insecure about our relationship. He already knows that he has to reassure me, and he told that was a bad thing. Then he told me that I need to figure out how to fix it. But the problem is, I don't know how to fix it. Can you help me? How can I stop being insecure? -teen
Wanting reassurance from others is a common problem, especially for women. Sometimes that inner sense of self confidence and self worth doesn't get nurtured in the right way and hasn't bloomed yet. When this happens it is hard to feel good about your own decisions or appearance or whatever, and so we look to others for those good feelings. If you really try to stand back and think about yourself you can probably see that you are just as worthy as anyone else. You have some terrific pluses and some challenges but there is no reason why you are unworthily or unlovable. You know how we say that every snowflake is different, well every person is different and unique in their own way. If you PRACTICE focusing on the and try to not dwell on what you think of as faults you will most likely start feeling more confident and in less need of reassurance. If this is working in some weeks or if you have been neglected abused or otherwise hurt, please try to get some therapy. If your parents can't help you find a therapist perhaps your doctor, teacher of minister/rabbi/priest could. Best wishes