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Japanese exchange student
Posted on: 10/23/2007
I am a student of a japanese exchange program and I think I am suffering from a mild depression. I started to hate myself for the really bad results i get even though i put in so much effort, starting to think that people hate me and now my classmates never care about my existence. While I am desperate for someone to talk to, I do something really immature or embarrassing just to get someone's attention and it ends up worse.
I felt that my japanese teacher is my only saviour but she keeps telling me that she can't be my friend because of the school's rules. she's a young hearted teacher so i thought i could open my heart to her, but as time goes by, she starts to remove herself from me and it hurts me a lot. I started to think that I am a bother to her since I always tell my troubles to her, but the more she knows about me the further our relationship becomes.
All in all, i feel so useless, troublesome, and my existence is a bother to everyone...
I really don't know what to do and my very last and important exam is less than one month from now. With this result and thinking, i can never get anywhere...PLS HELP ME!!!!
You are in a very stressful situation as an exchange student far from your family and friends and facing a challenging school program. It sounds as though you are blaming yourself very harshly and beginning to believe that others are blaming or rejecting you too. I think you're worry that you are depressed is realistic; the thoughts and feelings you describe reflect a significant level of depression. Fellow students or teachers may not be able to give you the support you need, but a trained counselor could be very helpful in guiding you through this difficult time. Sometimes people think that they must be crazy or really disturbed if they need to see a mental health professional. This is absolutely not true. Anyone can become overwhelmed by anxiety or depression, particularly if they have a lot of stress and little support. I hope that you do not delay in finding out how you can see a counselor promptly (maybe through the student health program). Asking for help does not mean that you are a burden.