Teen FAQ
For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.
Questions about suicide? Call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Talking to Parents > Drinking and trust
Posted on: 12/28/2007
Question
Hi, I am 15 years old and I recently started drinking with my friends in November. We don't drink a lot, and we all know our limits. But, recently, my mother found a beer cap in my coat pocket when i put it into the wash. Yes, it was mine, and i forgot to take it out before i put my coat into the wash. I didn't drink a lot that night, only the one beer. I didn't even like it, so i didn't drink the whole thing. My mother has not had any trust for me since, and it hurts because she thinks the TV shows I watch are affecting how I act. She keeps bringing up the beer cap and asking if i am happy, and that she doesn't want me to drink. I wish she would understand that I am responsible with drinking, i haven't got drunk, it's just fun with my friends to do sometimes. I am not stupid when I drink, I know my limits and I don't do any drugs, i sometimes even drink when my friend's mother IS AT HOME, so we are very careful drinkers. There are worse drinkers in my grade, and they do drugs. So why is my mom being so hard on me with trust? Please help!
Answer
Dear Teen: Your Mom sounds like a lot of parents who really worry about teen drinking and don't know how to evaluate the situation. On the other end are parents like your friend's Mom who allow teens to drink when they are present feeling it is better if they drink at home. You sound like you think a lot about your drinking and do it as a "fun" peer activity. Be aware however that it is still illegal. The best thing would be if you and your Mom could have an honest, open discussion about drinking and safety. Tell her you are concerned about safety, but if you happen to drink what does she want you to know and tell her how you make decisions around it. She may never really agree with what you are doing (many other parents would not) but it may help to relieve the tension and increase the trust between you.