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    Teen FAQ

    For over 10 years, teens have been asking us questions on every topic imaginable. While we are no longer taking new questions, we have a wealth of information we would like to share with teenagers.

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    Navigate: FAQ Home Page > School > Feeling out of place in new body and new city
    Posted on: 06/05/2008

    Question

    I am a 13 year old girl just starting high school. I am feeling very sad as my Mum and Dad have recently separated and I am now living with my mum in a new city. i like my new school but I have not made many friends yet. I also feel a little uncoordinated, especially in PE, as I have had a growth spurt and I seem to be all legs and are very skinny. I don't like what I see in the mirror because my skin seems oily and a few pimples have appeared on my face. Please give me some information and tips on what to do?

    Answer

    Hi, Well, it sounds like a lot of things are changing in your life, not of your choosing and not under your control. First of all, good for you to be checking out the teen website and communicating and asking questions, and talking about how you feel about it all. Keep that up, especially with each of your parents, and your old friends--definitely keep in touch with old friends, by phone/text-message/email/letters, arrange get-togethers as time goes on if possible.

    Your sadness is normal, would be expected during and following a family separation and relocation; if your feelings get worse or feel out of control, get help, even counseling, to help handle them. You are starting summer now: your local Recreation Department will be able to put you in touch with youth activities, camps, where parks are that have facilities that you might get active in; your new school district probably has a newsletter that may describe community activities coming up during the summer; even enrolling in summer school or summer sessions of some kind in your area would allow you to meet other kids within a structured format. Joining a church community sometimes help people meet new families and begin to feel they belong; these often have active youth groups as well.

    Finally, ask your mom to set up an appointment with a new pediatrician in your area, so you can have someone to talk to about health/skin/other issues; oily skin and pimples are part of the territory with puberty, as are feelings of uneven growth. Be patient, continue to be a friend to those you've known, stay in touch about feelings with your parents, and good luck!


    Answered By:
    Susan McKenzie , LCSW


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