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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Doctor Visits & Confidentiality > Mom wants Dr. to check hymen
It doesn't really matter if your hymen is intact or not with regard to sexual activity. This was an old way to try to tell if a woman was a virgin, but you can be having sex for years and not lose your hymen. On the other hand, you can be totally not sexually active and lose your hymen if you get a straddle injury (to the pubic area). You should discuss with your doctor how to best handle this.
The key question is that your mom wants to know if you're having sex. Ideally, you should be able to talk with her about this, so she can help you get good medical care for birth control and STD protection. Sometimes, if you know that telling your mom would be a problem, then you can get your doctor's help for the above, and also help in negotiating the relationship with you and your parents about this issue, while being your advocate.
Elizabeth Lee , M.D.