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Posted on: 07/08/2008
Question
i'm 14, and a lot of people i know are starting to have sex and stuff, but i dont feel ready yet - at all. i want to wait until i at least finish puberty. my boyfriend has been trying to convince me it's not that bad. He's tried fingering me, and last night i just let him. I know it's supposed to hurt a little, but it was really painful, and it didn't bleed or anything. but even when i look i dont know what my hymen is supposed to look like or if he even went in. it still hurts a little, but it felt really uncomfortable, i've tried looking at diagrams and stuff, but i still dont really know where everything is. i dont feel all right there either. shouldnt it have felt a little good? help please!
Answer
Thanks for writing and asking an adult for an opinion. First, you are perfectly right that you are not ready and your body is not ready - anything that hurts that bad is not worth doing and is a clue not to do it!
Second, the boyfriend is pressuring you to do something he wants - against your will and is not concerned about your wishes or health - he needs to go!
Stand your ground. You are worth it! The earlier you start any sexual activity, including fingering, the more likely you are to get a sexually transmitted infection, pregnant, and your heart broken!