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Sexuality & Romance
14 and not ready
Posted on: 07/08/2008
i'm 14, and a lot of people i know are starting to have sex and stuff, but i dont feel ready yet - at all. i want to wait until i at least finish puberty. my boyfriend has been trying to convince me it's not that bad. He's tried fingering me, and last night i just let him. I know it's supposed to hurt a little, but it was really painful, and it didn't bleed or anything. but even when i look i dont know what my hymen is supposed to look like or if he even went in. it still hurts a little, but it felt really uncomfortable, i've tried looking at diagrams and stuff, but i still dont really know where everything is. i dont feel all right there either. shouldnt it have felt a little good? help please!
Thanks for writing and asking an adult for an opinion. First, you are perfectly right that you are not ready and your body is not ready - anything that hurts that bad is not worth doing and is a clue not to do it!
Second, the boyfriend is pressuring you to do something he wants - against your will and is not concerned about your wishes or health - he needs to go!
Stand your ground. You are worth it! The earlier you start any sexual activity, including fingering, the more likely you are to get a sexually transmitted infection, pregnant, and your heart broken!