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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Relationships > Boyfriend does not know
Posted on: 09/22/2008
Question
i just needed to talk to someone about this and ask. When i was a young teen i was at a party and my 'friend' said let's go for a walk. i was intoxicated and all i saw were trees. we kissed but then it went too far. before i knew what was happening, it had happened and it was my first time. for a few months i tried to make myself believe it was my choice, like to make me feel stronger sort of thing. but then i got really messed up. i did it again with the same guy, and then the following year got raped by another guy. i feel stupid that i was raped 2 times. my boyfriend only knows it happened once. i know he loves me but sometimes it's still very subtlely brought up and gets in the way 5 years later. how can i react and deal with this? i dont think it's his business to know everything as long as, when he knows little things, he over reacts. what can i do?
Answer
I am so sorry that any of those things happened to you. It is time to talk to a counselor about all of these things - and decide how you want to handle this issue now with your boyfriend, as well as in the future. Keeping a secret is never good and is hard to live with. You can start with RAINN (www.rainn.org), which will make you feel immediately better! Good luck!