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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Depression > Lost virginity and sad
Posted on: 11/25/2008
Question
My boyfriend keeps saying I'm not a virgin because he told me he did not feel anything when he had sex with me the first time. Yet I felt hurt a lot and we saw the pink blood with little water came out. But he told me that that was blood from my period, which was ended the day before we had sex. I was very sad because no one deflowered me before. Moreover, he told me my vagina was not pink, that meant I had sex before. In fact, I am asian and I have never seen my vagina be pink. Please help me, could you give me more information about the hymen and the feeling of deflower, so I can talk with my boyfriend. Please help me, I'm sad and depress now. Thank you so much.
Answer
I am so sorry that your first sexual experience was with such an insensitive boyfriend. He is wrong on several fronts and you should not let him upset you. First, the vagina does not change color after you have sex - it is the color it should be. Second, you were a virgin if he was your first sexual partner and women have different amounts of bleeding during first sex. He is obviously not in love with you, is not caring about your feelings, and I suggest you move on.
If you continue to be sad, please talk to a doctor or counselor who can help. Again, I am sorry your first experience has been so difficult.