Teen FAQ
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Posted on: 01/09/2009
Question
My 14yo daughter is having sex and WILL NOT TALK TO ME! I believe they are using condoms but not always. She refuses to use birth control. I don't want her to get pregnant.
Can I take her to an OBGYN against her will even just to talk so someone besides me?
Answer
Well, I feel your pain, but I am sorry to say that you cannot take her to a doctor against her will. I suggest you try and tell her (and her partner) that you love your daughter, and wish she was not sexually active. However, if she is going to have sex, you want to support her in protecting herself and are happy to make any appointments and provide the financial support their responsibility requires.
You can also let her know that you do not have to be involved -- she can talk to her doctor or a female adult without them reporting back to you! If she does not use this site, bookmark it on the family computer or write down the web site for her: http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/
If she likes her doctor, you can suggest making an appointment. Let the doctor know beforehand that you believe your daughter is sexually active, and that you will not be coming to the appointment with her. You can get information from your local Planned Parenthood and leave it on the table for your daughter to pursue on her own. You can also encourage any adults in her life to try and talk to her -- confidentially!
The most important thing is to keep a lid on your own emotions and be as supportive as you can! I am truly sorry and wish you good luck!