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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Female Health > Do not want to hurt girlfriend
Posted on: 08/28/2009
Question
My girlfriend is 18 on her way to college. I am 17, still in high school. When we are both horny, we only do things with our hands. She wants to wait for her wedding night to lose her virginity. I completely respect this. I've been fingering her now for many months and I was wondering, since there was no blood, could her hymen already be broken? If that is the case, will her first time still hurt? If it will hurt, for how long will she be too much in pain to have sex? I really don't want to hurt her.
Answer
Well it sounds like you have rationalized sexual activity by avoiding vaginal intercourse, but be clear, you are both being sexual. In fact, her hymen is likely long gone, so first sex may not hurt. It is nice that you care about her, and I think you two need to talk about your pledges and values.