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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Emotional Issues > Nervous about the first time
Posted on: 11/16/2009
Question
[I know I'm a couple months over the age limit, but I'm hoping you'll respond anyway since I've seen many questions from those younger than 13.]
I am in a loving and committed relationship with my boyfriend. We are both adults -- I'm in my final year of university and he's graduated with a good career. He's had sex before, but I'm still a virgin (just because it didn't feel right, no moral/religious reasons). He has been respectful in all ways and never pressured me. I am now feeling ready and want to be having sex, but for some reason I'm still just slightly nervous for the first time. Is this normal or a red-flag?
And before you ask, yes, we've talked about it, been tested, will use a condom and I've been on birth-control for months.
Thank you!
Answer
Nervous about the first time is completely normal and only a red flag if you ignore your own thoughts. If you are sure he is the one and you are ready, then make a plan to honor the first time, unhurried and as special as you need it to be. Ask that he go slow, honor any requests to stop, and help you make it what you want. Good luck!