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Navigate: FAQ Home Page > Eating Disorder > My friend is starving herself
Posted on: 04/14/2004
Question
Dear PAMF,
I go to the PAMF in Palo Alto for regular checkups and nutrition. I have a question. I have a friend at school who is trying to impress i guy by starving herself, and recently was throwing up. She is also trying to be as athletic as me and my other friends so she can make a sports team. She is mad that my friends and I are about to tell our teacher that she is doing this, what should i do?
Submitted on 04/10/04 at 02:03:44
Answer
Dear concerned, You address a difficult issue. Your friend wants you to treat what she is saying confidentially and you are concerned about her. This is a situation where you have to use your most mature judgement. If you think your friend is behaving in a way that puts her health seriously at risk the caring thing to do is to talk to school staff who can try to start the process of getting her some help. Other than this situation maintaining trust is essential to a friendship. Perhaps a middle road would be to first talk to staff without naming names to have the staff help you determine how serious the risk is. Another choice would be to tell her you care and don't want to see her develop a serious problem and then ask her to talk to her parents or her doctor (you could offer to go with her) to prevent you from needing to go to school staff. Good Luck!