1996 Annual Report
The Kreiss Family
Sandi Kreiss has always tried to look at the positive in life. But that became really difficult about 9 1/2 years ago.
She and her husband, George, had just moved into a beautiful home in the Santa Cruz Mountains above Los Gatos and were awaiting the arrival of their first child a month later. Their son, Geoffrey, arrived on Nov. 15, 1987--a child with Down Syndrome. Down Syndrome is a chromosomal defect which causes various physical and developmental problems.
"We brought him home and George's approach was, `Honey, we're going to have more kids.... We'll just work with him and he's going to be the best kid that he can be,'" Sandi recalls.
George's words echoed those of PAMF pediatrician Richard Greene, who told the Kreisses shortly after Geoffrey was born: "What do any parents want for their children? You want them to grow up and be healthy and happy. Your child will be no different.... Your son will be happy and we will try to keep him healthy."
Three weeks later, George was killed in a car accident--leaving Sandi alone to help Geoffrey be the best he can be.
"Geoffrey is such a neat kid. I get compliments on this child all the time, not just because of his good manners but because inside he is a neat kid. He is enjoyable to be around. He just knows and feels what is going on," Sandi says.
"He really gets you down to the basics.
And, if anything, those are the tools that help you survive."
To help her get through those hard times of the late 1980s, she often thought: "There's always worse. We could be without family. We could be without friends. We could be without so much.... You have to remember the blessings. I think the only thing that kept me going was I had to keep focused on the positive--and so many people wanted us to keep going."
For Geoffrey and Sandi to "keep going" meant enrolling him in a Community Association for Rehabilitation (CAR) program in Palo Alto when he was 6 weeks old. He was in the special program until age 3.
"Through CAR you learn to be an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, a speech therapist. You start developing a knowledge about all the things you need to know about Down Syndrome and what expectations and milestones your child should be reaching at what time," Sandi says. After Geoffrey finished the CAR program, he entered another special education program because Sandi couldn't find a regular daycare facility that would take him.
"There is so much fear," she says, mostly relating to not knowing what to do with a Down child. Eventually a Presbyterian preschool in Sunnyvale took him--an acceptance that changed their lives. "I noticed he was playing more appropriately and his behaviors were on target for where he was(mentally)," she says. That's when she decided to enroll him in a regular kindergarten at his neighborhood school: John Muir Elementary School in San Jose.
"It takes you a long time to get to the point where you don't see the disability. I think what helped was putting him in kindergarten at a home school because I started to see Geoffrey as a child instead of having special needs.... It was like walking to school some mornings with neighbors and friends and listening to them and sometimes thinking, `I have it easy.'"
Geoffrey is now in the second grade and Sandi, a former teacher, works with the school district on Geoffrey's curriculum--which also benefits other children with learning disabilities.
"Geoffrey learns by routine. But his curriculum also helps the ADD (attention deficit disorder) kids--by creating a...healthier environment for him to learn, they also get helped.
"I see our program as being more successful because of the number of children that benefit from these services, not necessarily just my child."
Sandi acknowledges that much of the second-grade curriculum needs to be adapted for Geoffrey--"He's never going to catch up," she says.
"The whole purpose is a sense of community. He's connected with these children," she says. "The kids get to know how to help him. You have a sensitivity in the kids--and if they weren't with him they wouldn't have this. The same with the parents. Their fear is gone," she says.
"I have always thought, being as it is just him and me, that the other children were such a blessing for him--to teach him the skills."
Over the years, Dr. Greene has been nearby when needed for care and advice. "He has always been concerned about me, too," Sandi says. "He's been a real source of comfort and support. He has been there for us so much." And she also has been there for him. Dr. Greene now refers new parents of Down Syndrome children to her for compassionate understanding and advice.
"My first advice to them is to take care of themselves," she says. "First, you have to just digest everything--when you are ready, then let's talk."