Mary Pipher Revisited - One Year Wiser?

To Your Health -- CHRC Newsletter

Summer 1997


by Becky Beacom, Health Education Coordinator

On January 11, 1996, a "breath of fresh air" blew into Palo Alto, and took our community by storm. It was on that day that Mary Pipher, Ph.D., psychologist-turned-bestselling author, arrived in Palo Alto armed with a hefty dose of mid-western charm and a powerful handshake ready to deliver the messages from her best-selling book, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. In an event made possible by the collaborative efforts of the PTA Council of Palo Alto, The American Association of University Women (AAUW), and the Palo Alto Medical Foundation, 1,000 people crowded into Gunn High School's Spangenberg Theater to soak in Dr. Pipher's stories, absorb her wisdom and find solutions to the serious problems facing so many adolescent girls today -- eating disorders, depression, decline in school performance, substance abuse, suicide.

For 90 minutes, the audience listened attentively as Dr. Pipher shared her unique perspective on the forces that influence this potentially "dangerous" time in the lives of all our daughters. Admittedly not the first to identify that a problem exists for adolescent girls, she offered a new view into why it exists.

"Dysfunctional Culture"

Over a period of six years, Dr. Pipher had noticed a disturbing increase in the severity of problems for her female adolescent patients. Most troubling was the fact that most of these girls had been bright, emotionally sturdy and doing well until junior high school. While the girls' most common complaint was that they fought with their mothers, in most cases she found the mothers to be very capable and loving.

It was her undergraduate training in anthropology (UC Berkeley) that led her to look for answers beyond the often-touted dysfunctional family theory and into the "dysfunctional culture" within which these girls come of age. "With institutions decaying, work-place ethics eroding and the sense of community fading, families are what remains between people and chaos.... If we take away people's belief in their families, what do we replace it with?"

During her lecture, as in her book, Dr. Pipher contrasted the experience of today's adolescents with that of the previous generation and identified the following areas as having serious implications for all male and female. Today's adolescents experience:

  • "Loss of community": fewer neighborhoods & neighborhood experiences; people knowing and looking out for each other.
  • "Living in a new electronic community": TV, Internet, movies, videos-"where often 'junk values' are taught".
  • "More fragmented families": through physical, and sometimes emotional distance, families miss out on the benefits of regular interactions with extended family; extra challenges of divorce, custody.
  • "A more alcohol-dependent culture": more drugs, more addicted people.
  • "A world that is more dangerous to explore."

According to Dr. Pipher: "The messages of mass culture often pit teenagers against their own parents and their own good sense.... The main societal agent for teens is culture, peers and the media.... Today's teens are faced with decisions about drinking, drugs and sex just at the point where they are pulling away from their parents.... The learning curve is just too steep for children. Many become symptomatic."

While Dr. Pipher is not without her critics --("paints a negative picture"; "identifies the problems, but offers few solutions"; "she's talking only about very severely affected girls-not the mainstream-not most girls"; "What about boys?! Have we left them out of the equation?") -- clearly, she got us thinking, listening, discussing, and moving. There is no question that it was her January '96 appearance here that served as a call to action for this community.

Local Voices

Following Dr. Pipher's lecture, the Education Division at PAMF held a series of focus groups to help guide us in developing programs that would respond to the needs of our own community. This involved conducting separate focus groups for pre-teen and teenage girls, for parents of teens, and for numerous community agencies and organizations.

From the girls we heard a lot about the climate of middle school -- the pressure to conform to a set style, feeling less safe (emotionally), being overwhelmed by many sudden changes (physical, social, academic). Parents identified remarkable needs of their own as their children moved through adolescence: the desire to fully understand their teen's behavior and development; to connect with other parents for support and consistency; to learn more effective ways to communicate with their teen.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead, anthropologist.

Most uplifting was the focus group involving representatives from schools and other local agencies and organizations. The number of innovative programs and opportunities for teenagers (already in place in this community) was truly impressive. All that seemed to be missing was a mechanism to learn about each other's offerings and achieve greater success through mutual support.

Local Action

These focus group findings and a careful examination of resources led the Education Division to focus our efforts on improving the environments within which our girls and boys live - home, school and community. Over the last 18 months we have worked to:

Create a free lecture series for the parents of adolescents and include professionals from a variety of community agencies. Four lectures were held from Fall '96-Spring '97:

"Inside the Teen Culture" - Donnovan Somera and Carolyn Laub of the YWCA of the Mid-Peninsula.

"Eating Disorders in Adolescence" - Gina Earle, LCSW, PAMF.

"Between Parents and Teens: The Fine Art of Communicating" - Sheila Dubin, parent educator, Children's Health Council.

"Holding On and Letting Go: Fathering Adolescent Girls"-Bruce Bienenstock, MD, PAMF.

Support Palo Alto schools' efforts wherever possible: Numerous classroom lectures and Health Fairs at Palo Alto's high schools (by various physicians and June Badal, R.N., from the Women's Health Resource Center); PTA Council Committee on Gender Issues; Co-Sponsor with PTA Council of Palo Alto, "Developmental Issues in the Transition to Middle School", lecture by Shirley Feldman, Ph.D., Stanford University; Stressbusters Fair at Palo Alto H.S.; advisor to "The OUTLET" after-school programs at both Palo Alto Middle Schools.

Join a coalition of organizations contributing to city-wide programs aimed at the teen population: City of Palo Alto's "Safer Summer" (Positive Alternatives for Youth) program '96 and '97; Sponsor and participant of "PARENT-TALK", live talk show series on Community Cable Television.

For the Future? There are still many projects "under construction" for '97-'98; more lectures for parents; exciting programs for "Middle-Schoolers"; and a continuing commitment to collaboration.

Good News

All over Palo Alto, families are taking the initiative to build connections with their neighbors, organizing block parties, baby-sitting co-ops and carpools. Very busy parents head school committees on important issues -- fund-raising, school policies, educational programs, etc. Schools, businesses and city agencies are combining forces to help provide children and teens with rich and positive choices for activities, and a safe environment within which to grow. At Palo Alto Medical Foundation we are proud to be part of a hard-working network of agencies and individuals dedicated to building the sort of community Mary Pipher held as the ideal - for girls, for boys, for everyone.

"This protection and connection to each other will change the culture. Families can be really healthy only when children once again have communities of real people who care about them." - Mary Pipher, The Shelter of Each Other.

Please come to the Community Health Resource Center to see our extensive book and video collection covering all of these issues (including Mary Pipher's two outstanding books and video of her 1996 lecture). As always, we welcome your comments or ideas. Please call Becky Beacom, education coordinator, in the PAMF Education Division (650-853-4733), or June Badal, R.N., at PAMF's Community Health Resource Center (650-614-3200).