Grief: Coping With Grief
Key points
- Grief is a normal and healthy reaction that
occurs when you lose someone or something important. Although it is possible to
delay or postpone grieving, it is not possible to avoid grieving altogether.
- Grief will subside over time. However, the grieving process does
not happen in a step-by-step or orderly fashion. Give yourself all the time you
need to identify, accept, and express your emotions.
- Your feelings
are unique. Each person handles emotions and feelings differently. Find the way
to deal with your emotions that fits you.
- Support is important
during the grieving process. Support comes in many forms, such as from friends
and family, by participating in activities you enjoy, or through exercises to
help you express your feelings, such as writing letters or keeping a
journal.
Feelings of grief
vary depending on your personality, past experiences, the length of time that
has passed since your loss, and the personal importance of that loss to you.
After losing a loved one, the nature of your past relationship will also affect
the way you grieve. When grieving, it is normal to:
- Feel sadness and yearning for the person,
object, or situation that you have lost. These feelings are central to all
grieving.
- Feel worry, anxiety, frustration, confusion, anger, or
guilt.
- Be overly sensitive to others' behavior.
- React
strongly to seemingly minor losses or changes when they trigger feelings of
grief over your major loss.
- Feel insecure and alone, and want to
isolate yourself from others.
As you recognize each feeling and accept it, you become
able to work through the feeling and heal your emotional distress. Your
personality, coping style, and past experiences influence how you deal with
your feelings.
A broad range of feelings are expected during the
grieving process. If you are concerned that your feelings may be too painful or
unusual, talk with a mental health professional experienced in grief
counseling.
Test Your Knowledge
-
Feeling oversensitive is common when
grieving.
-
True
This answer is correct.
Feeling oversensitive is common when grieving.
During this time, people are often oversensitive to the behaviors of
others.
-
False
This answer is incorrect.
Feeling oversensitive is common when grieving.
During this time, people are often oversensitive to the behaviors of
others.
-
Dealing with grief means accepting your feelings, even
though they may be painful.
-
True
This answer is correct.
Dealing with grief means accepting and handling
your feelings, even though they may be painful.
-
False
This answer is incorrect.
Dealing with grief means accepting and handling
your feelings, even though they may be painful.
The grieving process
is a way to work through your loss. Successfully dealing with your
feelings helps you adjust to your loss, eventually stop yearning for what you
have lost, and return to your normal daily activities. Grieving a major loss
may help you grow emotionally. You may learn something new about yourself. For
example, you may learn that you have more inner strength than you thought you
had.
Test Your Knowledge
-
The grieving process:
-
May teach you something new about
yourself.
This answer is correct.
The grieving process may teach you something
new about yourself. All answers are correct.
-
Is a way to accept a loss.
This answer is correct.
The grieving process is a way to help
you accept your loss. It also may teach you something new about yourself and
help you mature emotionally. All answers are correct.
-
Helps you grow emotionally.
This answer is correct.
The grieving process helps you grow
emotionally. It is also a way to help you accept your loss. In addition,
it may teach you something new about yourself. All answers are correct.
Identify your feelings
Sometimes after a loss, it is hard to figure
out exactly what you are feeling. You may have several feelings at the same
time or conflicting feelings, such as sadness and relief. Writing is a good way
to identify what you are feeling. Writing about what you feel can:
-
Stimulate thinking and
help you organize and analyze your thoughts.
-
Deepen your understanding of a situation and may help you get
in touch with feelings you had not recognized before.
-
Prompt you to reflect on what is happening to you. This
can help you put things into perspective and come to an understanding of how
the changes affect your life.
When you are ready:
- Set aside time to write.
- Choose a
private, comfortable place to do your writing.
- Choose a method of
writing. You may choose to write a letter to your loved one, for example, or a
poem or story.
- Don't worry about how well you write. Write about
everyday occurrences or conversations you have had.
- Write what you
feel. Don't screen your thoughts; give yourself permission to write whatever
comes to mind. Strong feelings (such as fear, anger, or frustration) may arise.
Write about simple pleasures and joys you have experienced, too. If you have
concerns about your strong feelings, talk with a trusted friend, member of the
clergy, or mental health professional.
Accept your feelings
- Talk with people about how you are feeling.
Resist the urge to be quiet around or avoid people. If you are having trouble
talking about your feelings with family members and friends, consider joining a
bereavement support group.
- Express your emotions. You may feel that
this is a sign of weakness, or that you won't be able to control yourself if
you show your emotions. None of these is true. However, if you are afraid that
you might harm yourself or someone else if you express an emotion, talk with
someone you trust, your health professional, or a mental health professional
about your concerns.
- Be patient and kind to yourself. Your feelings
may be unpredictable and uncomfortable. Remind yourself that your uncomfortable
feelings are expected and will fade as time goes on.
Handling difficult feelings
Each person handles emotion differently. Here are some ideas about how to
deal with some of the most common feelings during the grieving process:
Test Your Knowledge
-
A good way to deal with your feelings of emotional
distress related to grief is to:
-
Express your emotions.
This answer is correct.
A good way to deal with your feelings of
emotional distress is to express your emotions. It is also good to be patient
and kind with yourself and talk with other people about how you feel. All
answers are correct.
-
Talk with other people about how you
feel.
This answer is correct.
A good way to deal with your feelings of
emotional distress is to talk with other people about how you are feeling. It
is also good to be patient and kind to yourself and express your emotions. All
answers are correct.
-
Be patient and kind to yourself.
This answer is correct.
A good way to deal with your feelings of
emotional distress is to be patient and kind to yourself. It is also good to
express your feelings and talk with other people about how you are feeling. All
answers are correct.
Now that you have read this
information, you can better identify and cope with the feelings you are
experiencing while grieving a major loss.
Talk with a health professional
If you have questions about this
information, take it with you when you visit your health professional. You may
want to use a highlighter to mark areas or make notes in the margins of the
pages where you have questions.
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