By Donna Bee-Gates (2006)

Funny how life works. While reading this wonderful new book by Donna Bee-Gates about consumerism and kids, I happened to have had an Italian exchange student staying with my family. She kept asking questions like: "why are the houses and cars here so big?" "why do Americans fill their plates and then leave half of the food on their plates to be thrown away?" "why did they serve me three [plate-size] pancakes for breakfast?" Her questions, and the issues about unbridled materialism explored by Bee-Gates, have led to some very interesting dinnertime conversations.

How can we as parents help children resist craving the newest and the latest possessions? How do we avoid raising a generation of people who believe happiness comes from shopping or "retail therapy"? What are our own buying habits teaching our children about materialism and consumerism?

Bee-Gates has some great quotes and advice for parents about living with materialism. Like so much about parenting, this is not black-and-white--it is a more complex issue. Dr. Bee-Gates interviewed parents and did a great job scouring the literature so we, as parents, do not have to. The chapters of this book are easy-to-read. Bee-Gates offers insights into why some kids want more "things":

• They are bored


• They use things to make friends


• They get things from us in leiu of our time and attention--ouch!

She introduces five life circumstances that increase children's vulnerability to materialism, and then she discusses how spirituality, of whatever flavor you prefer, can help kids resist the influence of consumerism.

This book is not a treatise on the evils of materialism, nor does it suggest we renounce our worldly possessions. Instead, it is an academic exploration of consumerism in relation to spirituality, passion, relationships and meaning in a child's life. Here are a few of my favorite issues she explored:

• What's in it for me?


• Consumerism 101: what are we teaching our children about responsible spending habits?


• What is more rewarding--money, family or community?


• How is the number of hours of TV watched linked to overall mental health, academic success, leadership skills, and of course, consumerism?


• What is the value of ritual and multi-generational character education, as well as seeing parents involved in community service?


• How powerful is laughter and joy shared between parents and kids?

Finally, she ends the book with concrete suggestions on deemphasizing possessions without being perceived as a grinch or compromising our principals. All in all, a great book and reminder that we are educating our children with every decision we make.

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