G.I. Joe

The G.I. Joe action figures come to life in this flashy action movie. The movie begins as soldier Duke (Channing Tatum) and his unit attempt to deliver a highly sought-after case of nuclear warheads. The mission is approaching disaster when the G.I. Joes arrive to rescue Duke, his friend Ripcord, and the case from a violent woman ninja. Later, the G.I. Joes take them to the G.I. Joe unit, where Duke and Ripcord gawk at complex stealth gear and learn of deadly enemies. When they join the Joes, Duke is thrust into a spinning world of evil ex-fiancés, gruesome mind-control technology, and twists and surprises around every corner.

This movie isn’t a complete disaster for those who enjoy intense explosions and special effects. These are impressive, but simply not enough to hold the movie together. G.I. Joe offers a weak, unconvincing plotline and an unintentionally comical script. You just can’t take it seriously when the female villain distractedly comments, “Cute shoes,” to an innocent bystander right before she blows apart the Empire State Building. In fact, almost all of the villains in this movie are too impractical and ridiculous to instill any fear or excitement in the viewers. The fighting scenes, which one could at least expect to be decent, are a failure as well. They are anticlimactic, and repetitive.

G.I. Joe is a disappointment to the fans who treasured the action toys as kids, and the movie-goers looking for an exciting action flick. Though the ending screams that a sequel is on the way, curious cats should wait until the DVD comes out and watch it with friends for a few laughs. Otherwise, just move along, because there’s really nothing to see here.