Changes and Finding Normal

Change happens to everyone. Whether it is good or bad, we have to adjust, and what matters most is how we adjust to that change. Fighting the change or pretending it did not happen usually creates more drama and conflict, but sometimes we just cannot help ourselves. Adjusting to change and finding a "new normal" is more productive and just feels better.

A Positive Image: Self-esteem

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I am disappointed by the color of my skin because I think that our society finds blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls more beautiful. Sometimes I tell the people at Starbucks that my name is "Amy" so that they won't have to ask me 10 times how to spell my hard-to-pronounce, foreign name. Sometimes I cringe at my relatives' thick Indian accents. Sometimes I make sure to invite my friends over before my mom cooks dinner so that the house doesn't smell like spices and curries.

Even in such a diverse place as the California Bay Area, a person can feel out of place and different from her peers. It helps me when I'm having a bad day, however, to remind myself that the people in my life who I love actually embrace all these things –- my skin color, my name, my family member's accents and the scent of my home. These things make up a large part of my identity. I would never have guessed that my best friends would think that the food that stinks up my entire house smells delicious! They actually applauded my relatives for speaking English with excellent grammar, rather than scoffing at their unusual accents.

When I tell people stories about the meaning of my name, the numerous Indian holidays and festivals, or the mythical Hindu tales they are engrossed and fascinated. This makes me even prouder of my background. More importantly, I remember that all of the things I can be embarrassed by are the superficial aspects of my life and that it's more significant to show others that I have a kind heart and bright mind rather than a certain name or skin color.

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