Changes and Finding Normal
Change happens to everyone. Whether it is good or bad, we have to adjust, and what matters most is how we adjust to that change. Fighting the change or pretending it did not happen usually creates more drama and conflict, but sometimes we just cannot help ourselves. Adjusting to change and finding a "new normal" is more productive and just feels better.
A Stressful Choice
Making friends is difficult. Making the right friends is even more difficult. I like to think that I can relax once I finally get to know a person well enough to consider them a friend, but I've learned getting to know a person is the easy part. Judging whether a friend is the right match for you is no simple task, especially if you want that friend to like you.
A while ago, one of my best friends and I befriended a group of girls who at first I liked and admired. It wasn't until later on that I found out how utterly different I was from them. These girls weren't as sweet as I thought, and over and over I watched them make bad decisions. It didn't take long to realize that this wasn't the group for me.
Separating from these girls wouldn't have been terribly hard except for one thing: my best friend had turned into one of them. This led me to a really stressful choice. Do I stay with the group out of loyalty to my friend, or do I leave the group and abandon a year and a half's friendship? After repeating this question over and over in my head, I finally came to a conclusion. I would leave the group and my friend. I realized that while the year-and-a-half of being best friends with her had been special, time had passed and we were no longer a good match. I would also be more careful in deciding who were the best people for me to be with.
Currently I have a different group of friends who mean the world to me. Looking back on this drama, I know in my heart that while the decision I made hurt, I did the right thing.
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Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
- Albert Camus