What if I'm Not Straight?
Answers to common questions about sexual orientation
- How do people become lesbian, gay or bisexual?
- How do I know if I'm gay, bisexual or lesbian?
- Does a single experience define my sexual orientation?
- What can I do about harassment of those who are bisexual, lesbian or gay?
How do people become lesbian, gay or bisexual?
People are born with their sexual orientation, and being attracted to both sexes, the same sex, or the opposite sex is a part of someone throughout his or her life. It is not a reaction to a bad relationship or the result of experiences. Some people do find that their understanding of their sexual orientation changes throughout their lives, but this does not mean that something has.
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How do I know if I'm gay, bisexual or lesbian?
Knowing and understanding your sexual orientation can take a lot of thought, and sometimes talking to a trusted adult or counselor can help you to understand your feelings better. Everyone experiences their sexual orientation differently -- some people know when they are very young that they are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Others don't realize this until later on.
Many teens are unsure about their sexual orientation, so don't panic! There are many supportive people and groups out there that can help you feel comfortable with whatever sexual orientation you have. Keep looking for someone you trust, such as your parents, a school teacher or counselor, or some other adult you are close to.
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Does a single experience define my sexual orientation?
No, many teens have had sexual experiences with the same sex but do not consider themselves bisexual, gay or lesbian. Sexual orientation refers to someone's sexual preferences, the consistent pattern of sexual arousal towards one or both genders. This includes fantasies, conscious attractions, emotional and romantic feelings, and sexual behaviors. Sexual behavior simply refers to what you have done sexually -- someone can be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight regardless of their sexual behavior.
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What can I do about harassment of those who are bisexual, lesbian or gay?
Harassment about sexual orientation is something everyone should work to end; thanks for adding your voice to that fight! For suggestions about how to be an ally to those who are gay, lesbian or bisexual, read Homophobia.
Does being lesbian, bisexual, or gay put me at greater risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?
Your sexual orientation and the gender of your partner does not change your risk of STIs. Only your sexual behaviors and how you protect yourself affects your risk, and whatever the gender of your partner, you can take steps to protect yourself. To learn more about STIs and how to protect yourself, read Protecting Yourself.
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